Selena Gomez is no stranger to the harsh realities of the internet. Despite her well-known philosophy of “kill ‘em with kindness,” even she admits that the constant negativity occasionally affects her—especially when it comes to comments about her weight.
“I fall victim to looking at things,” Selena shared during a joint appearance with her fiancé Benny Blanco on the On Purpose with Jay Shetty podcast on March 24.
“It doesn’t add anything to your life. It’s just so difficult—from the choices you make to the people you date. Nobody seems to care about that stuff when it comes to men.”
The Only Murders in the Building star, 32, has always been candid about her weight fluctuations due to her lupus diagnosis, but that hasn’t stopped people from making unsolicited comments about her body. While she has learned to push back when necessary, Selena admits the scrutiny can take an emotional toll.
“My weight’s a big one too,” she continued. “Everybody just has something to say, and honestly, it makes me sad. No—I wouldn’t call myself a victim—but it has made me a bit bitter. And I feel guilty for even saying that. But it’s the truth.”
Gomez acknowledged that women in the public eye face an entirely different level of judgment.
“This isn’t news to anybody—women experience much more intense scrutiny about their appearance, their outfits, everything,” she explained. “When I’m getting ready for an event, 90 percent of the time, I’m just thinking, ‘I hope I can take the picture and sit down.’”
Beyond beauty standards, Gomez has also struggled with fitting into a specific identity box.
“It’s not just my looks—it’s who I am. I’m not white enough. I’m not Mexican enough. There are so many things people judge me for, and I can’t help but see it,” she said. “But I’ve learned—it doesn’t add anything to your life.”
Selena’s solution? Logging off.
“I’ve realized I’m happier without it. I still take breaks, because I’m human, and sometimes I read things. But most of the time, I just ignore it,” she admitted. “I don’t keep social media on my phone, and that helps.”
One thing that keeps her grounded? Love. Benny Blanco, who proposed in December after a year of dating, has been a source of comfort.
“He’s the one person whose words I actually believe,” Selena said sweetly. “He’s not just saying nice things to make me feel better—he means them. And that makes all the difference.”
In a world full of criticism, Selena Gomez has found a place where she can be herself, free from judgment and full of love.